I am taking one step at a time.

New life, new people, new things, all the news.

To be honest, I am not a person who is really outgoing and socialised. I am timid, stubborn, refuse to change even I know I should I do. I just can't approach people who I do not feel the frequency synchronised with them. 

Excuses. Just try to get close and listen what they say! Of course you can not find their chat topic at the very beginning!

That is what I heard yesterday. It was like a lightning strike right on my head.

It was a nice trip organised by our Chinese seniors in residential college. Well, I may put part of the blame on HORMONE problem, but it also showed how useless I am to control my thoughts. I just cant prevent the harsh words popping up from my mind. Harsh words towards myself. Tears kept running down uncontrolled. Why things always repeated? I can't make myself smiling when everyone is enjoying the photographing session.

I supposed it was a must-undergo-process when I start a new bond with new people. (??) Any how, I do not wish to bring up those silly thoughts, but I wish to express my gratitude here to all I met here. 2nd year seniors, who guided us a lotttt since we entered UM, college friends,Seong Jiunn, Carol, Ann, Rosalyn, Beng Ern, Joey, and many many more. Who make me feel awkward sometimes, till just now, till yesterday, in many events... I am taking one step at a time, creating bonds, making friends, please be patient till the day I can really barge in your room and chat freely.

There A New Life Begins.

It has been a long time I have left something in my blog huh...Life is getting busier and, in the same time, packed with activities and things-to-be-done=p

Speaking about my university... It always amazed me how powerful the "secret power" which draw you to some place, some people...The so-called affinity or whatsoever...I never thinking of studying in this uni before, just like how I was thinking about the STPM, but I am still here."WOW," I thought.

Away from home is  not a suffer for me, since I was like staying alone when no one is not in the home, working etc. Eat myself, study myself, these has become a norm for me. The only thing is I cant take whatever I want if I need it..(Papers, clothes,food?haha), but still, I did shed tears when looking at the photos with my family and friends...Cant say I never miss them, I miss them so much! But we have to carry our lives, and we can never expect to have forever company(people die,aren't we?).

Let;s talk about my life here then!Hmm...The orientation week was better than expected, though we had to finish our meal within 2-3mins... It seemed unbearable for most of us, but as long as it is better than JPAM, I have no complain about it=p The cheers were so exciting, when we shouted until we lost our voice, doing the gesture together, laugh together. However I really wished they can include campus tour during orientation week-I still cant get to all corner of the campus! 

Ha! My room! We are living two in a room, a room which is smallllllllllllllllllllllllll...Although I already get used to it, but somehow who don't want the better?^^ My room mate is a cheerful, talkative girl who lives here, so I rarely interact with her besides early in the morning and night- when we just wake up and about to sleep== So...feel like living alone even more haha..It is good to see others hanging around with their room mates, well I should not be too ungrateful la=p

I should stop here for this instance, since I need some rest after 3 hours sleep last night.. Crazy people are all around here hahaha...

The Underworld.

              

  Imaging a place, a world you never have been to. This world is like an enormous locker, with numerous secrets hidden inside. You wish to explore that place, to uncover those secret beneath, but you never success unless with the help of the people inside the world. Even though you did that, you can never reveal everything inside the locker. It is definitely impossible.

                Do ever hear this world before? Some may realize its existence, some may not. However most of us are curious about the world. We always trying to get more information about it, even a little scraps, a small clue but even a piece of puzzle leaked may cause a huge effect to a person, a gang, or even the world we exist.

                Does it sound that serious? Do you start wondering what I am talking about? Or you already know what do I refer? I am talking about the world where people are talking or acting behind you. It is not any fantasy you may think of, it is just the world we are living, but the difference is, things happening without your knowledge, or in other word, where people are talking purposely avoiding your knowledge. I bet everyone cannot know every single detail about what people are talking behind you. However, it is possible to make that world beautiful by discipline yourself to be good, to talk good and to behave well.

                It is a hard task. It will be a blessing if there is somebody who can actually help us adjusting our attitudes. They act as the mirror which reflects our mistakes. They do not keep things from us, but they are willing to share what we suppose to know in spite it is a good or bad comment about us. They help us look for anything that we miss when we handle things or people.

                You may say:” I did not do any harm, and I was good to others. Why there were still awful comments about me out there?” Even you are doing the right thing, or you really are doing the right thing, but you never know what comment will you get in somebody eyes, and what effect it will cause when applies to others, either positive or negative. That’s why there is a saying, “there is no absolute right and wrong in the world.” What we need to do is find the balance, and sometimes, do not care too much about the rumours. If you are in the right track, time will finally prove it to everyone.

The Road Not Taken.

                Don’t know why I am thinking about it over and over again.

I believe some of you had heard a poem entitled “The Road Not Taken” before? It may not be interesting to you, but somehow you will find that it is full of philosophy of life.

The Road Not Taken-Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim

Because it was grassy and wanted wear,

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I marked the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference. 

                The last paragraph often becomes topic of discussion to its readers. Some says the writer was regret to his decision of taking the tough path, but some says the opposite. The truth lies on the writer himself, who died long time ago, leaving the answer undiscovered.

                What about you? I believe everyone had the same experience before. Imaging in a lovely morning, you were lying in your bed, and the alarm rings. What would you do? Will you get up quickly and get ready for a new day? Or you will “drag” a little time to have a 5-minutes-sleep? It is about choices. We are making choice every day, every minute, even in every second. Sometimes those choices we made bring minor effect—to drink coffee or tea during breakfast, to dress in a casual date, etc. However, sometimes the effect is huge, for example, choosing a career path, or picking your life partner. There are people who will hesitate for a while, identify the pros and cons, make predicament of what will he or she get if they ever making the choices. There are also people who simply follow their heart, too, without much consideration. The only similarity is, whatever path you have chosen, there is no turning back any more  What you can do is keep going, and making new choices in front of you.

                Have you regretted any choice you made? I dare not say there is anyone who never regret on anything, as we are still young, or we had been young before. It is normal to feel regret, to make mistakes, and that is how we learn. Learning is a life-long process, we keep learning from mistakes, and this enable us to make a wiser choice in future.

Candles, Crowd, Christmas.

The huge Christmas tree in front of Ion Orchard

                You will easily find time is so merciless when Christmas comes. It makes you realize that a year is reaching its end, and another year is ahead.

                Today is 26 December 2012, the “Boxing day”, the day after the Christmas. How was your Christmas? I suppose most of the people have returned to their work, and of course there are people who took a long leave before the New Year coming to go travelling. Well, I am here, in front of my laptop, sharing some of my thoughts and experience during the past Christmas this year. Actually, I went to a primary school just now with my friends in hope to have interview for intern teacher but we was informed that it wasn't a right time so we have to come again by 3.00pm. A sparrow is singing outside in this chill morning, and somewhere the construction site now starts to make noise. I remained calm and neutral though I had been frustrated to get a job.

                Now back to the topic, Christmas. Last Saturday I went to Singapore with my sister and her friends. We were attracted by the Christmas decoration and lights in Orchard Road, which was entitled the most beautiful street decoration for Christmas around the world. The lights were indeed fabulous, and the atmosphere there was great. There were countless Christmas tree along the street but the most remarkable tree is the huge Christmas tree located at the front entrance of Ion Orchard, the shopping mall where you will be in after you reach the Orchard MRT station. The tree was enormous and there was even a little door which leaded you to a magical world inside the tree! It felt like you were standing in a dream with numerous stars surrounded you. Besides, there were two big jingle bells at the top as you can pulled the string attached to make it rings. We could not stay long in the tree as the shining lights made us dizzy. However the biggest flaw was there was too crowded on the street as well as the shopping mall inside. We had to struggle our way in the crowd to walk to our next destination. Free gifts were given to us such as a present package from HELP Family Service Centre, a sample of moisture cream from The Body Shop and etc. I loved the little candle light which was distributed to crowds when the night performance started. Christmas song was singed with numerous lights shined in the dark, everything looked peaceful and nice.    

                Though exhausted, I was contented with what I gained in this trip. New year is coming, and I wish everything will be better in the coming year! 

The right time, the right person.

I wouldn’t know what you will think of when you see this title, but mostly people simply regard this “right person” as our life partners. Do you?

Haha, of course, a right person shouldn’t only be your future partner, it can be your friends and even your teachers too. The affinity between human is so mysterious, strange but precious. Why we met each other? Why at this time? What reasons make us friends? Which qualities do we share in order to pull us closer? What would happen if I did not make the move?

Do you ever think of it? Even a small action can change the world entirely? Or at least, YOUR WORLD?

If you believe in parallel worlds, I believe that you will understand what I am trying to say.

Possibilities. The world is full of possibilities. We are always making choices now and then, which lead us to who we are now and what will us going to be. The same theory applies to people who we met in our life time. I knew I wouldn’t meet some of them if I had not chosen Form 6, and I knew everything would turn out in another way. However please bear in mind that there’s no “perfect path” in the world. Even when we suffer from the choice we made, we cannot deduce that a brighter future is ahead on the road not taken.

We will never know.

That is why the so-called “true love” is precious than anything else for someone. Imaging you meet a girl/boy whom you like in a particular time and coincidently, she/he likes you too. Sometimes people say it is a “miracle”. It is not the end of the story. The couple will have to undergo countless challenges together, and it cannot be called “true love” before their relationship survives. The person who walks by your side till the end of your life is not necessary the one you love most or the one who love you most, but he or she must be the one you meet in the right time.

Friends also the same. I am regarding those friends who you can really rely on when you need them. It takes a second to make a friend, but much long time to keep a friend close to you. Friends we meet in the right time can turn out to be life-long, when we are both best suited to each other. Of course it is not the only key for a successful relationship, understanding, tolerance and chances, yes, chances are needed for you to know your friends better. It can be a minor incident, an unexpected fight, a call or anything else.

This is what I understand recently, inspired by a short story and my friends. 

Time to say goodbye.

Everyone’s going to leave. People say.

As a Chinese saying "天下无不散之筵席", we know when the time has ripe, it's time to be part. However, I wonder how many friends wish we never have to say goodbye, just like me? Silly thoughts, I know. Bonds between people are too fragile; it will be easily broken by time, by words or a simple action. We cannot avoid friends who ever been so close to us drifting away and we cannot deny that we will lose them somehow and somewhere in the time.

Human is powerful with their innovative and inventing ability by making dreams possible in our lives. Nowadays taking photos has become so easy that it could be done in milliseconds of time. Photos do record countless precious moments in our life, but still, we cannot really keep that moment alive for ever. We always lose against time.

The only thing we can do is treasure every second in the present, use it well, express your feeling to people you care, do things which make you happy, and love yourself as well as the world around you.

Here comes the end of my form 6 life, sweet and sour, love or hate, all the bygones are bygones. No doubt that it had been a wonderful experience to us and to me. Every stage of life is different, and yet to be unique for every single person. I am grateful to all the people I met and the things I encountered; no matter they brought me laughter or tears. Thank you my friends for your company, and sorry to all those I had hurt.

Wish you a bright future, my friends.

                                                                                             Love,

                                                                                             Amelia